She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
