wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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