Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
