i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
