I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
