Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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