where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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