So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
