If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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