shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
