dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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