the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
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