Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
