She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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