so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
