My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
