I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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