:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
