i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
