OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize