I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
