Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
