It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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