whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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