You made me cry and you don't even care
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
