I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
