when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
