This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Pants are for mortals
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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