sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
