How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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