We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
