if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
