He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
