So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
