i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
