On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I bet he comes in French.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
one might say we're banned from that church
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think my cat just said my name.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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