Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
