toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
