I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
