guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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