"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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