It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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