I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
