i think i have herpe
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
You can't just leave with hair like that
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.