He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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