Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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