I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
