Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
