He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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