whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Randomize
