The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
