you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
