I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
