just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
