I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
how drunk are you?
Several
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
