i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Randomize
