TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
