pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
My vagina is very pro this idea
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
