apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
