Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
