I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
