I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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