i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
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you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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