i can't believe i had my finger in that
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize