somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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