jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
