Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
