absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
3 2 1 whiskey
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
