am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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