playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
